you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
