Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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