watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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