I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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