If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
