Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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