Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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