she woke up with a sticky ear
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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