They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
