It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
There's even glitter on my cock...
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