I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
