ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.