Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My dick has a subreddit