Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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