fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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