He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
