According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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