You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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