Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
