What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize