i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's blow job season.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
