Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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