the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
