I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
