booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
