Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
