I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
