They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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