We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
