did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
