I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
