Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
