He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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