So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
