i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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