He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
