nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
