On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need to calm my uterus...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
