Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
