When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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