Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
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It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
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And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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