i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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