You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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