omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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