But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
