My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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