check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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