I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
