No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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