Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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