STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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