I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
