Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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