My nipple is on Facebook.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
