It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
