so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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