I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
