Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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