We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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