office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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