I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
