hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
