k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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