That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
