she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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